INTELLECTUAL DEVELOPMENT OF TODDLERS

Take some time to watch toddlers playing. Notice the differences in their development: height, weight, how they relate to you and to other children, and their energy levels. Some children seem to never sit still, while
others seem happy to sit down with a book. Toddlers learn by exploring and experimenting. They love to do things over and over.

ONE-YEAR-OLDS:

- are curious.

- imitate animal sounds.

- can name familiar people and objects.

- combine two words to form a basic sentence.

- use the pronouns me and mine.

- use "no" frequently.

- name body parts and familiar objects in pictures.

- use objects for their intended purpose.

- begin to include a second person in pretend play.

- have a short attention span.

- can hold a pencil and scribble.

- are very active.

- have trouble knowing what is real and what is pretend.

Try some of the activities listed below to help one-year-old toddlers growand learn.

- Roll a ball for them to catch.

- Provide safe mirrors for them to look at themselves. Talk with them about their reflections in the mirror.

- Let them fill containers over and over again.

- Let them push or pull a favorite toy.

- Look at picture books with them, and talk about the pictures.

- Talk about the size, shape, and texture of everyday objects.

- Make comparisons such as "this ball is bigger than that ball."

- Talk about cause-and-effect relationships such as "if you push this block, the whole pile of blocks will fall over."

TWO-YEAR-OLDS:

- follow simple directions.

- use three or more words in combination.

- express their feelings and wishes.

- use objects to represent other objects.

- still have a very limited attention span.

- can memorize short rhymes.

- join in simple songs.

- begin to think about doing something before doing it.

- have trouble making choices, but they want to make choices.

Try some of the activities listed below to help two-year-old toddlers grow and learn.

- Encourage toddlers to run, jump, and climb outside.

- Sing songs with them, and act out songs with simple movements.

- Play pat-a-cake, and teach them simple finger plays.

- Tell them simple short stories, especially those about themselves or other two-year-old children.

- Let them pound a toy workbench.

- Give them water to measure and pour.

- Let them stack blocks and other objects.

- Provide things that can be taken apart and put back together, such as large pop beads.

- Ask children to name objects in pictures. Give them the correct word if they cannot think of it.

- Give them simple directions to follow.

- Play matching games and work simple puzzles with them.

- Encourage pretending by providing dolls, housekeeping toys, dress-up clothes, and toy telephones.

- Introduce art activities - scribbling or painting with crayons, chalk, and paint; play dough and finger paints.

- Begin toilet training, hand washing, and tooth brushing when the toddler is ready.

Discipline for Toddlers Part One: Using Positive Wording

All parents worry if their approach to discipline is the right one. There are such heated debates over everything from spanking vs. non-spanking to using "bribes" to get your child to cooperate that it's hard to know where you stand on any issue. Not to mention the fact that it seems like every "expert" in the field of child rearing has a different opinion than the next on the subject of discipline.

The following technique, positive wording, is one that I learned while enrolled in a course called Social Development in Children. I have found that it works extremely well with all age groups of children. The reason why positive wording works so well with children is because it tells the child what TO DO instead of what NOT TO DO. This technique will take a lot of practice to get to the point where it is easy to use at all times with your toddler.

With toddlers, a parent's main goal should be to redirect whatever negative behavior is occurring and tell the child what the correct behavior should be. Have you ever noticed that, for example, if your child is standing on your bed and you say "Don't jump" that the first thing he/she does is start jumping?? That's because toddlers, and most children, don't hear the "don't" but can easily focus in on the "jump"! In this instance, your positive wording would take the "Don't jump" to "Only sitting is allowed on the bed."

Here's another example. Your toddler has decided she wants to color with her new crayons so you sit her in her chair at the table and spread out her pad of paper. But, as toddlers will do, she decides it will be more fun to draw on the new placemats you just bought the day before...sound familiar? A parent's first reaction is usually "Don't draw on that!" But, positive wording would sound like this, "Draw on paper only" or "Crayons are only for coloring on paper."

Here are a few for you to try. For each example of negative wording try to replace it with positive wording. Try them on your own first and listed below are some acceptable alternatives.

1. Don't run.
2. Don't scribble in the book.
3. Don't take your friend's toys.
4. Don't play with your food.
5. Don't whine.
6. Don't touch the stove.
7. Don't talk with your mouth full.
8. Don't stand on the couch.
9. Don't squeeze the puppy.

Positive wording alternatives:

1. "Walk" or "Only walking is allowed in the mall." 
2. Use paper if you want to draw" or "Books are for reading"
3. "Wait your turn to use the toy" or "Ask permission to use the toy"
4. "Eat your food"
5. "Use your words" or "Tell me what you want"
6. "Play in the living room while I cook"
7. "Chew your food"
8. "Put your feet on the floor" or "The couch is for sitting only" 

One key thing to remember is that the younger the child is the more basic you'll want to keep your positive wording. Long, drawn-out explanations won't go over well with children under five! Keep your wordings short and very specific.